woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
