found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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