i just sent this text using only my big toe
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
