First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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