He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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