They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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