i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
