No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize