We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
