a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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