people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize