um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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