Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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