i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
