i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
