Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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