OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
