I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
