Me. At least after what I've been through.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
