My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
