You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How's work?
Spinning.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
