Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
