I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
then he tried to convert me to islam
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
