pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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