i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
