I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
