I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she peed on how many people?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
