Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
