worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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