Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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