i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did you just see the Batmobile???
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize