She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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