i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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