wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
