I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
