She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
