I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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