is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
