what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
