I puked a lego.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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