is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
