I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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