I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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