i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
