She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
