Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
