So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
