Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
3 2 1 whiskey
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
