Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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