You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize