You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
