I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
