Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
