ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
