Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
