My friends, they love my intelligence
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
