But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
