I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
