Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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