the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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