32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
