Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
